A few years ago, Putin’s military plans for Ukraine cancelled my scheduled trip to Russia. Now US policy prevented my visit to Cuba. Yes, I could still go there, but any later journeys to the US would be forever difficult or denied. Too limiting.

Fortunately, the rest of the region was happy to see me. Assumptions about locations can deceive. Not here. Tropical skies and sands, relaxed feel-good vibes, and deceptively fruity cocktails are as prolific and inviting as brochures advise.

South and east of the US, the islands form a kind of heart-shaped chain with the coasts of Central and South America. Initially inhabited by Amerindians, colonisation made the region ethnically diverse. Spanish, French, British, Portuguese, Dutch, even briefly the Swedish and Danish moved in – along with sub-Saharan slaves. This helped spice the gumbo of language, faith, food, and music.

By the 17th century, pirates here became known as buccaneers. As colonies developed, some went into state-sanctioned privateering, while – amusingly – others went into politics.

An old rule for early mariners going to the West Indies from England was, “Head south until the butter melts, then turn right.”  The twentieth century saw tourism soar, as well as banking and financial services. The Cayman Islands and others became tax-free and offered, shall we say, less obstructive regulations.

Unusually for my travels, this time a friend, Cathy, accompanied me. We long-term single gals managed the shared terrain with lots of gaiety and no incidence of homicide.

Everything is Big in Texas

Surprisingly, there were no sensible, straight-line flights from New Zealand to – or near – the Caribbean. Standard choices were to take several flights via Columbia (too dangerous) or Miami (too far).

The best option for simplicity and price was to get direct, return flights with Air New Zealand to Houston, Texas. Numerous daily flights to our cruise’s starting and end point of Puerto Rico made scheduling less prone to disruption. Or so we thought. Government and airport employee conflicts in both cities made for 3-hour long queues stretching outside the airport buildings, racing across rescheduled terminals, and boarding just before the doors shut.

In Houston, instead of packing legal open-carry firearms, we made plans to visit one of the world’s biggest concentrations of museums (on art, health, history and more). Savour Mexican, Asian, and New Orleans influences on a walking food tour. The city mini-van tour had a female, ex-combat marine, Billi, as our enthusiastic guide. We took the 26-lane highway (the world’s largest, of course) to head like Glen Campbell for Galveston and the tempestuous surf of the Gulf of Mexico. Lined with a wide boardwalk, this small island has major vacation pull and quirky history.

A highlight was the Houston Space Center. We saw the original Mission Control, a replica shuttle, Mars exhibits, and stroked a moon rock. I was tearful when watching the spectacular, huge-screen, space travel documentary, as narrated by Tom Hanks. We are an enterprising species.

Southern Specialities

An excellent Netflix series is High on the Hog: How African American Cuisine Transformed America. I watched it the previous year and remembered that one of the featured chefs had an acclaimed restaurant in Houston. A booking swiftly followed for Lucille’s, named after his keen-cooking grandmother.

It offers refined Southern fare such as cornmeal coated, fried green tomatoes; jalapenos stuffed with beef brisket (first barbecued for eighteen hours); crab cakes with salsa; boldly reinvented pecan pie and other tweaked American classics.

Elsewhere I dined on cornbread, grits, pork ribs, crawfish, and fluffy biscuits (like scones) with gravy. One fun place, Pappadeaux, specialised in Southern memorabilia, generous but nuanced Creole fare. We shared a big platter of electrically seasoned catfish, oysters, jumbo Gulf shrimp and “dirty rice” (cooked with fresh herbs and beef stock).

It’s not just portions that are sizeable. Never have I seen so much protruding, festooned flesh. Seriously ample women proudly wear outfits such as the shortest possible shorts with a tiny, stretchy halter top studded with steel baubles and rhinestones. Additions were sometimes pink, high-heel cowboy boots with an equally bright pink Stetson. All to be worn with major swagger, loud jewellery, and even louder y’all voices. It takes a village.

The weather was a surprise. Travel sites warned of Houston’s variability (and hurricanes). I dismissed that with, hey I’m an Aucklander. Hubris was about to be rebuked. Several spring days of 26 to 28 degrees were precipitously followed by highs of 13 and 14.

On to the Islands

In contrast, the Caribbean is a vast, balmy archipelago, with only two seasons, wet and dry. After Queensland’s Great Barrier, this is the world’s second most extensive coral reef system. Both are visible from space – often photographed by astronauts – and the largest living structures on the planet.

There are over 7,000 islands, though only 2% are inhabited. Our host was Viking Cruises, regularly voted the best anywhere. Some of seven eateries were open from 6 am to midnight. There was a casual poolside grill, elegant afternoon tea, regional specialties, buffet, and degustation options. The service and food were exceptional. Especially the variety of seafood and, ahem, desserts. The adventure began and ended in one of the largest islands, Puerto Rico. We stayed an extra day before and after in the capital, San Juan. There are wide beachfronts, narrow 16th century streets, fun shops, neon painted architecture, and an equally pulsing day and nightlife.

The cruise then headed at leisure for St Thomas; St Kitts and Nevis; St Lucia (the only country anywhere named after a woman; due to colonial conflicts from 1651 to 1815, residents were confusingly French then British 7 times each); Barbados; Dominica; Antigua and Barbuda; St Martin (the world’s smallest inhabited isle, and with its own sequence of 7 colonial powers); and St Croix. You could estimate an area’s final conqueror by which side of the road they now drive on.

On board, each mealtime I sat next to different people and started a conversation. Mark and Beth were from Houston. They both used to work for Nasa. He as a chemist and she as a project manager. She was friends with John Glenn; an advisor and minor actress on the hit movie, Hidden Figures; and knew the real Nasa director, as played by Kevin Costner. Cool.

Sailboats, volcanoes, and 4-deck super yachts abound. As do real and rumoured, sunken pirate gold. There were numerous excursions to choose from and explore terrain, customs, and landmarks. We started in style with mojito-making, and a salsa dance workshop. Arriba!

Rums and Drums

I loved the steel pan, calypso and goat drum music, small galleries and museums, tropical gardens, the farms, towns and rainforests traversed by foot and quaint, open-air train. I distilled, flavoured and produced my own bottle of rum. Visited conservation, fishing and sustainability projects, with large, wild iguana sunning and scurrying. Viewed murals and batik. Hiked passed waterfalls. Took cocoa beans and pounded long and hard to make my own chocolate. Boarded a small submarine to dive 50 metres and marvel at the undersea universe of large turtles, stingrays, human-sized clam shells, and schools of striped, indigo fish.

We walked through valleys and paddled in the paradise of Jacko Falls. Dominica has boiling lakes; sulphur springs; bright lemon, fuchsia and lime green houses in a state of relaxed squalor. Why suffer from exertion when trees droop with mango, guava, cashew, coconut, and banana.

Inland is the home of the Carib Indians. They gave us the words canoe, barbecue, potato, hammock, hurricane, and many others. These were the original inhabitants before Europeans came with Columbus in the 15th century. Locals provided a lunch with passion fruit juice, pumpkin and coconut soup, steamed dasheen (taro) and caramelised fried plantain, followed by folklore and dance.

Overall, food was beckoningly fresh, colourful, and zingy. There was conch (sea snail, similar to clam) fritters; callaloo (okra, spinach and crab stew); wood-fired jerk chicken (moist with hot sauce and molasses); bara roti (soft, spiced flatbread with curried chickpeas, cucumber chutney, shredded coconut); and ever-present mofongo (plantain mash).

For sweets there is rum cake with an eponymous ooze; peanuts cooked with brown sugar, ginger, and cinnamon. Fabulous tropical fruits include black pineapple (featured on Antigua’s coat of arms); the massive orange mammee with an apricot flavour; and the creamy, nutty ackee eaten only when cooked – or it is deadly.

This is the home territory of the mojito, pina colada, and daiquiri. Perhaps as a needed finish, the popular local drink is rum with orange and pineapple. It is known as: The Painkiller.